Behaviour
Children’s behaviour can vary widely depending on their age, temperament, environment, and upbringing. Understanding their behaviour involves understanding that all behaviour is communication, as well as recognising the developmental stages they go through and how different factors influence their actions.
Babies are born ready to learn and in the first two years of their lives, they make billions of connections in their brains. These become stronger when they are talked to, listened to and played with and it helps to build their self-esteem and confidence. Small children learn best from everyday experiences, which are fun and enjoyable. It can be as simple as being playful and silly or joining in with what they are interested in. By picking up a crying baby, singing or talking softly to them, or playing peekaboo over and over again, you are building your baby’s brain. You really are their best toy!
Building a bond with your baby from the start, and continuing to foster that throughout their childhood, adolescence and into adulthood can help in understanding and managing behaviour.
The community health team have created a useful Padlet full of information to help you if you want to know more to help you better understand your child or young person’s behaviour.
Developmental stages
- Infants (0-1 year): At this stage, children are exploring the world through their senses. They may cry to express needs, smile, or laugh in response to familiar faces
- Toddlers (1-3 years): This age is characterised by curiosity and a desire for independence. Tantrums are common as they learn to express themselves and test boundaries
- Pre-schoolers (3-5 years): Social skills and imagination grow rapidly. They begin to play cooperatively, share, and follow simple rules, but may still struggle with impulse control
- School-age (6-12 years): Children develop more complex social interactions, understand rules, and show greater emotional regulation. Peer influence becomes significant
- Adolescents (13+ years): Independence, identity exploration, and peer relationships are central. Behaviour can be influenced by the desire for autonomy, peer pressure, and emotional changes.
Common ways that children and young people express behaviour
- Tantrums: Often seen in toddlers as they express frustration or seek attention
- Defiance: Common in preschool and early school years, where children test limits and assert independence
- Social challenges: Difficulty sharing, making friends, or dealing with bullying can arise
- Attention-seeking: Behaviours like interrupting, whining, or acting out for attention are common at various stages
- Aggression: Hitting, biting, or other aggressive behaviours can occur when children feel overwhelmed or unable to communicate effectively.
Factors influencing behaviour
- Family environment: Parenting style, family dynamics, and the emotional climate at home play significant roles
- Peers and social influences: Friends and social groups can shape behaviour, especially in school-age children and teens
- Media and technology: Exposure to TV, video games, and social media can impact behaviour, both positively and negatively
- Health and nutrition: Sleep, diet, and overall health can greatly affect a child’s mood and behaviour
- Personality and temperament: Each child has a unique temperament that influences how they react to the world around them.
There are many ways to manage behaviour and each child and family situation will require different approaches. What works for one child may not work for another and there is no right or wrong.
Below are some ideas and further places you can look to help you understand your child’s behaviour and find ways to manage it.
- Consistent routines: Children thrive on predictability and knowing what to expect
- Positive reinforcement: Praising good behaviour encourages more of it
- Setting boundaries: Clear and consistent rules help children understand expectations
- Modelling behaviour: Children learn by watching adults, so demonstrating calm, respectful, and positive behaviour is important
- Active listening: Acknowledging their feelings and giving them space to express themselves helps in managing emotions
When to seek help:
If behaviour is significantly disruptive, persistent, or harmful to the child or others, it might be useful to seek external help.
Family Hubs, Children’s Centres and Early Help
We offer a whole range of free drop-in sessions and bookable classes where you can find help and advice from our trained practitioners as well as meet other parents.
There are play and learn sessions Monday to Friday for the under 5s and Saturdays session once a month. Our sessions are run using the Five to Thrive approach, is based on five key activities that are the building blocks of healthy communication and brain development, do ask our practitioners about this. We also offer groups for dads and young parents. Find out when these run by searching in ‘What’s on’ above.
5 to Thrive:
Respond – to your baby’s needs for support with warmth, comfort, food, hygiene and sleep.
- Cuddle – as often as you like, as they get older enjoy receiving their contact, hold hands, pat, stroke, feed, massage.
- Relax – have calm time, enjoy just being together.
- Play – follow their lead, join in their games, go outside, explore shapes, colours and textures, look at books, get messy!
- Talk – read to your baby, comment on everything you are doing, sing to them and name all the things you see around you.
We also run the Triple P baby courses, and short Triple P workshops, all of which can be booked via our Eventbrite page.
- Triple P Baby will help prepare you for becoming a parent and is suitable for parents who are pregnant or in the first 12 months of babies life. It will support you in developing strategies to build a positive relationship with your baby from the start.
- Triple P workshops are short 2 hour online sessions aimed at parents of children from 18 months to 12 years and beyond, which can support with the following areas:
- Hassle-free shopping
- Good bedtime routines
- Dealing with disobedience
- Managing fighting and aggression
- Hassle-free mealtimes
- Teen brain matters
- Getting teenagers to co-operate
Online information
The Centre for Emotional Health have some easy to use guides a resources for parents.
Action for Children have a whole range of information to help you understand and support your child’s emotions and behaviour.
Barnardo’s have a range of guides to support your child’s behaviour at different stages:
Barnardo’s have also created a useful video to help you understand how to set routines and boundaries.
Family Hubs and Children’s Centres can support you and your family with more bespoke help when needed. For those with under 5s we can offer our Parents as First Teachers course which will help you understand how to support your child’s play, child development, parenting behaviours, developmental topics (age specific), brain development, family culture and perspectives and family support. We also have an amazing family support team who will listen and find the best way to work through your family’s individual needs. Please contact us on 0300 323 0245 or email admin@ecpbedford.org to find out more.
For parents with children with additional needs or disabilities we work with the Child Development Centre to offer quiet stay and play sessions. These are aimed at children and families who may find other stay and play sessions too loud or overwhelming, or families who have concerns about their child’s learning and development. Run by an Advisory Teacher from the Early Years Support Team and staff from the Children’s Centre (term time only). Please contact us on 0300 323 0245 or email admin@ecpbedford.org to find out more.
FACES are a local charity which provides support for families in Bedford Borough, including practical and emotional support in the family home. They have a variety of different projects to help with challenges faced by parents, including SEND support and specialist support for dads. Please call 01234 270601 for more details or to discuss.
The Bedford Borough Early Help team can also offer a range of bespoke support matched to your family’s needs, whatever the age of your children. You can access their support by completing an Early Help Assessment (EHA). The Family Hubs and Children’s Centre team can support you with this as can your child’s school.
The Bedford Borough Early Help team can also offer a range of bespoke support matched to your family’s needs, whatever the age of your children. You can access their support by completing an Early Help Assessment (EHA). The Family Hubs and Children’s Centre team can support you with this as can your child’s school. Early Help is about taking action early and as soon as possible to tackle problems emerging for children, young people and their families. Early Help means providing support as soon as possible to help families cope with difficulties and working together with other services to prevent bigger problems emerging. Support can come from a range of services and organisations, for parents, children and young people of any age.
If you are concerned about your child’s development or feel they have additional needs or a disability then the Early Years Support Team may be able to help. They provide bespoke assessment and support to children under 5 years with Special Educational Needs or Disabilities (SEND), their families, and early years settings from a specialist team of Advisory Teachers and specialist nursery nurses and early years SEND Advisors, based in the Child Development Centre (CDC) in Kempston. Support is based within the CDC and Bedford Borough community and can include developmental play sessions, modelling, in-home/setting training and specialist stay and play groups. Please email eyst@bedford.gov.uk or call 01234 718123 to find out more.